Linguistic Entropy Syndrome

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lin·gwis·tik en·tro·pee sin·drohm noun — pseudoscientific, mildly alarming

Definition: A progressive dissipation of coherent language within the human cognitive-linguistic system, typically triggered by heightened emotional states, overstimulation, or the sudden appearance of a kid in Gene Simmons makeup shredding “Monkey Wrench” better than expected.

Etymology: From lingua (Latin: “tongue, speech”), entropia (Greek: “a turning toward disorder”), and syndrome (Greek: “running together,” which is ironic, because the words definitely do not run together).

Symptoms: – Sudden inability to recall lyrics one has sung for decades – Substitution of confident facial expressions for actual vocabulary – Spontaneous verbal static (“uhhh…”) – Audience delight at the sufferer’s expense

Example: “Dave experienced acute Linguistic Entropy Syndrome the moment the kid nailed the riff.”

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