The NFL doesn’t let you take part in innocuous behavior, but gaslighting is okay....
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12 Minutes
8 Minutes
Coming Around & Going Around
Ladies and gentlemen, after all of these years of reading the voluminous dispatches of verbal brilliance delivered to you from a self-proclaimed stubby fingered vulgarian via a worldwide network of machinery designed to deliver...
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9 Minutes
The Pot Diaries
As I march forth in my ill-conceived and clumsy endeavor to age gracefully, I find it only necessary to begin taking part in all of the activities which are required for men of my...
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7 Minutes
Excellence In Juxtaposition
Ladies and gentlemen, there’s one thing you should probably know about my writing process. When I write, I subject myself to an auditory assault at varying decibels within a narrow genre of music...
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6 Minutes
Regarding Winchester
It’s very rare that I come out here to an otherwise dull internet and liven it up a bit with a recounting of various relationships I’ve had over the years. Even still, I would...
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7 Minutes
Rigging The Smell Test
Ok people, listen up or you’re going to miss something here. You should be advised right here and now that I’m not here to whine and bitch and moan about my advancing maturity as...
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6 Minutes
Call Me A Relic Call Me What You Will
Well ladies and gentlemen, I’ll say this. There comes a point in all of our lives in which prevailing external forces are pretty belligerent about sharing unwanted news with you. That’s regardless...
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2 Minutes
More Brutality Ahead
Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen. *squirms* It’s not every day that I sit here at the command center of the most insightful website on the whole worldwide web and fidget looking for...
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4 Minutes
OMW 2 Fitty
Ladies and gentlemen, I sit here at the outset of my 49th birthday listening to my favorites on the iHeart Radio app of my AppleTV. For whatever reason, the good people at iHeart...
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8 Minutes
The Great Antenna Topper Heist Of Y2K
Vacation. ‘Nuff said, right? For as many years as I can remember at my current job, I’ve always tried to take some time off right around my birthday. The benefit here is that my...
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