Ladies and gentlemen, after all of these years of reading the voluminous dispatches of verbal brilliance delivered to you from a self-proclaimed stubby fingered vulgarian via a worldwide network of machinery designed to deliver the highest quality digital content ranging from small animals doing cute things to cute things doing small animals, you should know at least one specific thing about me. I shit thee not. If I’ve taken the time to enter…"Coming Around & Going Around"
Ladies and gentlemen, there’s one thing you should probably know about my writing process. When I write, I subject myself to an auditory assault at varying decibels within a narrow genre of music in order to stay focused on delivering to my beloved readership the most precise level of verbal brilliance which has come to be expected here on the most important website you’ll visit all day. For those times where the precision…"Excellence In Juxtaposition"
Ladies and gentlemen, I sit here at the outset of my 49th birthday listening to my favorites on the iHeart Radio app of my AppleTV. For whatever reason, the good people at iHeart Media can remember what songs I’ve keyed as “Thumbs Up” or “You can just go fly a kite if you think I ever want to hear that aural abortion again”, but they just can’t figure out how to include the full…"OMW 2 Fitty"
Two days ago while I was at the auxiliary office doing wonderful things in the cafeteria with a lemon poppy seed muffin (namely masticating the hell out of it so as to perpetuate some semblance of a false positive for recent use of opioids), a call came in with news about the beloved TharpSter Truck. I haven’t discussed the truck lately, so allow me to bring you up to speed with it. A…"Go Fly A Kite"
I sit here….. No, that’s not right. I stand here at the kitchen counter consuming an Everything Bagel. A near empty bottle of Palmolive supervises the process in desperate hopes of capturing a discarded morsel of cream cheese slathered goodness. One of the dogs is here too, and knows she has a better shot consuming the garlic infused nirvana that will generate creative and challenging odors for both ends of her alimentary canal…"The 3 Legged Stool"