Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen. *squirms* It’s not every day that I sit here at the command center of the most insightful website on the whole worldwide web and fidget looking for a bit of comfort. *frantically searches the command center for a pillow* Ok, listen up. This isn’t going to be the normal thousand words of verbal brilliance you’re accustomed to around here. With that in mind, I’m just going…"More Brutality Ahead"
Ladies and gentlemen, I sit here at the outset of my 49th birthday listening to my favorites on the iHeart Radio app of my AppleTV. For whatever reason, the good people at iHeart Media can remember what songs I’ve keyed as “Thumbs Up” or “You can just go fly a kite if you think I ever want to hear that aural abortion again”, but they just can’t figure out how to include the full…"OMW 2 Fitty"
Vacation. ‘Nuff said, right? For as many years as I can remember at my current job, I’ve always tried to take some time off right around my birthday. The benefit here is that my birthday usually falls in the same week as Memorial Day, so I can usually turn a 5 day vacation into a 4 day hit on my vacation bank, with number 5 being absorbed by holiday pay. That’s part…"The Great Antenna Topper Heist Of Y2K"
Two days ago while I was at the auxiliary office doing wonderful things in the cafeteria with a lemon poppy seed muffin (namely masticating the hell out of it so as to perpetuate some semblance of a false positive for recent use of opioids), a call came in with news about the beloved TharpSter Truck. I haven’t discussed the truck lately, so allow me to bring you up to speed with it. A…"Go Fly A Kite"
This last Friday, while sitting in the chair wearing a spit bib and a cheap pair of sunglasses which served to protect my sensitive blue eyes from a bright-ass light aimed into the left side of my mouth where a qualified and capable practitioner in the dental arts administered significant doses of Novocain into the fleshy real estate that surrounds my lower molar while his young assistant announced the age of her recently hatched Chihuahua-Dachshund…"The DentalPiphany"