Still Puttin’ Up Ugly

The real problem here is that one grenade just isn’t going to be enough to fix what’s wrong.

 

Easy as that.

 

Ladies and gentlemen, at the end of 2011 I was so irritated that I hadn’t written enough on a regular basis that I hatched what some consider to be an ill conceived goal to publish a blog a day throughout the year 2012.

 

And boy howdy, did I.

 

Now, here we are in the waning weeks of February and I’ve only published two blogs this year.  Actually, I think the count is six.  The first one was divided up into an intro and four pieces, so I don’t really count those separately.  So even though I’ve published two pieces of work this year, only one question comes to mind.

 

Is it fair to describe the final weeks of February as “waning”?

 

Author’s note:  I just typed up two paragraphs explaining why I haven’t published very much this year.  In that explanation, I offered up a great malaprop where I characterized an escapade as an Ice Capade.  In the end, I re-read the entire passage, deemed it to be a bunch of whiney bullshit, and deleted the excuse factory.  For the deletion of the passage and the malaprop, you are welcome.

 

Big picture, I’ve got three wonderful opportunities on the horizon which I intend to explore, exploit, and whore for every penny they’re worth.  In no specific order, they are:

 

Multi-level marketing – Just in case you’re not aware of this little tidbit, companies who offer up their products via shifty schemes designed to look like a pyramid or some other geometric shape which would give any 10th grade math teacher a reason to break out the ruler tend to have a hidden marketing plan.  Keep in mind I’m a little too lazy to look up the statistics right now, but I would bet you the collective profit of the three friends under me in the water filtration market that the biggest money maker for these companies is the fact that more of their sales kits are sold to potential marketers in a year than their actual product is sold to the public.

 

In summary:  Sales Kits sold > Product sold

 

If you don’t believe me, that’s fine.  Consider this.  No one has ever tried to sell me Amway soap products, or NSA water filters, or Herbalife vitamins, or a host of other products or services offered in the world of MLM.  Strange enough, I’ve received plenty of offers over the years to liberate treasury notes from my wallet in order to get into selling these products.  The only hitch was that I had to purchase the sales kit in order to get started.

 

Ladies and gentlemen, I’m in the process of developing a bogus product which can only be marketed through the wonders of a really bitchin’ (and pricey) sales kit.

 

Creative new investments -Yeah, I really can’t go into a great deal of detail as my research isn’t complete.  Needless to say, the profits from the sale of my really bitchin’ (and pricey) sales kits will fund this venture.  More to come on that one.

 

A publishing deal – Yeah, that’s right.  I’ve got a line on a possible publishing deal which would generate the income necessary to develop and market a bogus product via multi-level marketing strategies involving the sale of really bitchin’ (and pricey) sales kits.

 

So there you go.  From a long term perspective, that’s what a view of the not to distant future for your favorite blogger on the internet looks like.

 

On the short term, I’m currently fighting a nasty zit on the bridge of my nose.  It’s been there for what seems to be about a week, and today I finally got that bad boy open and am working diligently to liberate it of its gooey white, puss-like content.

 

More to come on that one too.

 

But then, maybe not.

 

 

Randy Tharp

TharpSter is a husband to one woman, a father to two kids, a master to two dogs, an occasional cubical occupant, and unable to make up his mind on an adequate theme for this website.

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