Decisions, Decisions

New doors are opening themselves up to wonderful opportunities for your favorite blogger on the worldwide web.  Believe me, ladies and gentlemen, I’m just as flabbergasted and excited as you are.

 

Just by perusing my email today, I found three….

 

Count them, one, two, three opportunities in which to explore new opportunities which could serve to increase my investment exponentially.

 

For those of you not mathematically inclined, that means “a whole lot”.

 

The first offer came by way of Mr. Lee Jaehyuk.

 

How Mr. Jaehyuk came by my gmail address is a mystery to me, however he must be quite clever in having the resources to reach out to me with the following offer:

 

I am Mr. Lee Jaehyuk from Hong Kong. I need to discuss a business project with you. Please reply back via my private e-mail Address for more info jaehyuklee88@yahoo.com.hk or lee.jaehyuk@aol.com thank you. Mr. Lee Jaehyuk

 

Yet, I must decline to respond.  It has nothing to do with the fact that I’m generally suspicious of such offers that land in my email box.

 

Perish the thought.

 

Instead, I’m more leery of people who continue to use AOL addresses and advertise it.  I don’t even think AOL does that anymore.

 

The next opportunity comes from our friends in Nigeria.

 

Say what you will about Nigeria, but let me tell you something.  The best offers for wealth development come from Nigeria.  Just sayin’.  Take a look:

 

Dr. Joe Lawson

NNPC Towers Ikoyi

Lagos

 

Hello,

 

Good day!

 

I am the Chairman of the Contract Award  Committee, Federal Ministry Petroleum Resources, Nigeria. We are in search for an agent to assist  us in the transfer of (US$20.4M) TWENTY  MILLION, FOUR HUNDRED THOUSAND UNITED STATES   DOLLARS. And subsequent investment in properties  in your country. I will do this by enlisting you as one of the beneficiary contractors to be paid the above amount by Federal government of Nigeria.

 

You will be required to:

 

   (1) Assist in the transfer of the said sum

   (2) Advise on lucrative areas for investment

   (3) Assist us in purchase of properties.

 

If  you decide to render  your service to us in this  regard, 20% of the total sum will be offerred to you. Please, quickly get back to me if you are willing  to assist.

 

Respectfully,

 

Dr. Joe Lawson

 

Chairman Contract Award Committee {CCAC}

 

Now seriously, people.  How could anyone with even an ounce of critical thought pass this up?  There’s no AOL address.  It comes from Nigeria, which has a proven record of generating quality wealth building offers such as the one copied above.  If you google “Federal Ministry Petroleum Resources”, you’ll get a few hits as well.

 

Sadly, there’s a red squiggly line in the text of the letter which tells me that Dr. Joe Lawson, the Chairman of the Contract Award Committee (CCAC for those of you in the know) chose to skip the expense of a dictionary or a spellcheck program in sending out this request.

 

I’ll pass.

 

The third entry involves working wood.

 

*pause for effect*

 

A reading of the note from Emlyn Budds indicates to me that actual labor is involved in the position which is being offered:

 

Good day,

 

My name is Emlyn Budds,I work for myself completing pieces for bespoke furniture companies and producing large a nd small scale commissioned carvings and I’m getting new projects from customers in the States.I am in search of a loyal,fun, flexible personal assistant that can help decrease stress and assist with personal and business tasks.

 

The candidate will be a great communicator with a great can-do attitude and be an intuitive self starter that “gets it” .The most have a computer and check their emails regularly,they must also possess proficient computer skills and be energetic about whatever tasks get handed over for the day. This will only start with 2 or 3 days a week , and will grow into greater opportunities for the right person.

 

 

The expectations of the role will span the following:

 

Domestic Tasks:

 

*Post Office box Mail pick up

 

*Bank deposits

 

*Payment processing

 

*Service Provider Calls

 

*Misc. errands

 

 

Project Tasks:

 

*Setting Appointments

 

*Returning calls

 

*Market /Data research

 

*Business marketing

 

 

NOTE: Communication is key,so We need to hit it off and have a great relationship.This is a unique position, and not for everyone so hopefully this was descriptive enough to identify a good fit! Please respond via email with a short response as to why you think you would be a good match for this role and a copy of your resume.

 

This is a part-time job.

This is a contract job.

Principals only. Recruiters, please don’t contact this job poster.

Please, no phone calls about this job!

 

Regards,

 

Emlyn Budds

 

Emlyn Budds shows promise and sports wood at http://www.emlynbudds.co.uk/index.html

 

Here’s the problem.

 

I kinda like sitting in cubeville all day.  I recently learned how to do a vlookup in Excel which saved me a whole buncha (exponential for those of you in the mathematical know of things) time over trying to do some of the same things through MS Access or SQL extracts.  I’ve got to think these new found skills would go by the wayside fetching the mail for Emlyn Budds.

 

Just sayin’.

 

So look at that.

 

Three potentially wonderful opportunities have been swept aside in a matter of moments just by the nature of me letting my pessimistic and suspicious behaviors shine through.

 

Speaking of missed opportunities, take a look at this:

Randy Tharp

TharpSter is a husband to one woman, a father to two kids, a master to two dogs, an occasional cubical occupant, and unable to make up his mind on an adequate theme for this website.

Type something witty and eye catching right here: