Show Us The Black Stuff

Yesterday I ran across a copy of one of this summers blockbusters out on YouTube.  You may or may not be familiar with it.  It features the lovely and talented Scarlett Johansson in skin tight attire and loaded for bear (or bare).

The top of the screen appears to be cut off a lot and the sound track isn’t synced up with the picture.  The subtitles appear to be in Chinese or something as well.

Otherwise, it continues to offer the excitement that movies featuring the lovely and talented Scarlett Johansson in skin tight attire and loaded for bear (or bare) are capable of.

Setting aside one of the best features of the film, I’d like to call reference to Captain America.  Have you noticed that when he has his mask on, you can still see the flesh tone around his eyes?

Interesting, don’t you think?

Not really, but let me continue with my rambling.

Since the arrival of Batman in the modern era (1989 to current), the caped crusader has made it a point to wear dark paint around his eyes.  Michael Keaton, Val Kilmer, George Clooney, and Christian Bale all have sported the stuff in their respective (and sometimes disrespectable) portrayals of the roll.  The grease paint helps to hide Bruce Wayne’s identity and enhances the menacing quality of Batman if you ask me.

Go ahead, ask me.

If you haven’t figured it out yet, I going to call attention Batman Returns and Dark Knight Rises.

First of all, Batman Returns is up.  At the end, Batman peels his cowell off to reveal his identity to Catwoman (played by Michelle Pfeifer).  Christopher Walken was in that scene as Shrek, and demanded more cowbell.

If that wasn’t  ludicrous enough, the man’s Kiss makeup (Gene Simmons style) was nowhere to be found.

Fine, it was a Tim Burton film.  This was the same man who expected us to get through the clutch play at the end of Planet of the Apes without going “Huh?” or “Well That’s Fantastic”.

Fast forward to 2012 where we have about 5 months left on the complimentary Mayan calendar which features a picture and contact information for your insurance agent (home, auto, and life).  This year we have the end of a brilliant trilogy about Batman given to us by Christopher Nolan.  That’s the film that features the lovely and talented Anne Hathaway in skin tight attire writhing in ecstasy on the Batcycle .

At the point in the flick where Batman has made his return after an eight year disappearance, he returns to the bat cave where Alfred proceeds to chew Bruce out for resurrecting the Dark Knight.  Bruce has taken his pointy eared brain bucket off, and is wearing the rest of his uniform.  Bruce obviously doesn’t like Alice Cooper, because the skin around his eyes fails to pay homage to one of the kings of shock rock.

One of the things I’ve always appreciated about this era’s versions of Batman films, especially in the Nolan films, is the fact that the storyline transcended the comics and brought more realism to them.  This was especially true with the curse of being a man bent on his vigilante machinations.  Even though the movies featured the pitfalls and curses of being Batman, they never wanted to touch on the fact that a good moist towelette was needed whenever the mask came off.

Granted I understand the whole thing behind watching any movie is accepting the reality presented by the film as the only one that exists.

Even still, what’s wrong with revealing a little grease paint?

Randy Tharp

TharpSter is a husband to one woman, a father to two kids, a master to two dogs, an occasional cubical occupant, and unable to make up his mind on an adequate theme for this website.

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