Not Going On Craigslist

“I don’t believe there’s a man, woman, or child alive today who doesn’t enjoy a lovely beverage.” –David Letterman

 

“I don’t believe there’s a man, woman, or child alive today who doesn’t enjoy a good handful of M&Ms.” — TharpSter

 

Beverages are good, especially when the proper beverage holder is involved.

 

I’m sure you’ve already read the passing reference to the beverage holder.  If you haven’t, you can check it out here.

 

Regarding a handful of M&Ms, I do hold true to that statement, however I believe it should be a pretty big handful.  “Mouthful” is probably a more accurate term.

 

Many years ago when Junior and Juniorette were but very small and amused by small things such as  a motorized candy dispenser, I was recipient of a Dilbert inspired candy dispenser.  Essentially you fill Dilbert’s monitor with M&Ms, and then hit his mouse to dispense a small serving of the good stuff.

 

The kids loved it.

 

Granted, the kids are no longer small, however I can still distract them every once in awhile with a small thing like a paddle ball, or a remote control with a flashing light on it.

 

Of course it’s been many years since I’ve actually used it as a M&M dispenser.  Nowadays, the best method for dispensing M&Ms into my pie hole is to open the bag and hold it at a thirty degree angle just below my nose.

 

The actual candy dispenser now sits on a table on my side of the bed next to the Hootchie Mama beverage holder and the Opus phone.  I would expect that if I were to use it now, the particulate which has gathered in the monitor all these years later would create a whole new dynamic for the process of eating M&Ms.  Granted, I could probably clean it out with a Q-Tip, however those are reserved for my ears.

 

Thus, the alternative method of pouring them into my mouth without touching a single one of them with my grubby paws reigns supreme and unassailable.

 

Speaking of grubby paws, I’m going to go help Wifey spread mulch now.  She promised me some candy in return.

Randy Tharp

TharpSter is a husband to one woman, a father to two kids, a master to two dogs, an occasional cubical occupant, and unable to make up his mind on an adequate theme for this website.

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