Rey Sacks Up

For those of you who have never darkened the doors of San Antonio, allow me to tell you about a holiday we celebrate shortly after every Easter.

 

It’s called Fiesta.

 

In essence, it’s an excuse to party all week at different  events held all over town and is capped off at a parade on Friday.

 

Among the events and other festivities, San Antonio names El Rey Feo (The Ugly King) to do various ceremonial stuff like knighting various residents with spent kielbasa sticks.

 

Fiesta.  Big deal.  I know.  I’ve been here over 20 years and have never really participated.

 

None the less, I tell you about El Rey Feo in order to tell you about El Rey Fido.

 

El Rey Fido is a take off of this city’s events, and spawns from the Humane Society.  Various companies around town have raised money for them in the last several months, and each one of them nominated their own candidate (canine) or course to run for the position of El Rey Fido.  The winner subsequently represents the Humane Society at events throughout the year.

 

I had actually considered entering Hope into the running for the contest, however her social graces parallel those of a pit bull in a china shop.

 

This year’s winner is a big ole boy  (he’s actually pretty young) which looks like he should be digging avalanche survivors from the snow and then tap his collar bound keg in order to keep his rescue from freezing to death.

 

His owners should be proud.

 

At the recent coronation for the big pup, it would seem that someone in the audience noticed that the dog may not have been the best representative for the Humane Society.  He obviously got a hold of a local media outlet, and since there were no house fires or car accidents to report that day, the news reported the issue at hand.

 

El Rey Fido, representative of the Humane Society and owned by an employee of a company who raised and donated a whole lot of money for said charity, is fully intact.

 

The massive dog has a feature which is quiet obvious on his north side when he’s facing south.

 

He’s not neutered boys and girls.

 

Whether you know it or not, adopting a pet from the Humane Society which hasn’t been neutered, spayed, or otherwise encumbered is next to impossible.  We got Faith from the Humane Society, and that was shortly after she had been fixed.

 

So what do you do about El Rey Fido?

 

Does the one loudmouth who bitched and griped to the local news get his way?  Come to think of it,  the Humane Society could make a Fiesta inspired event of it and publicly neuter El Rey Fido on the lead float of the Friday’s Parade.

 

One of the colleges around here has an Oyster Bake during the Fiesta week.  What about…..

 

No, never mind.

Randy Tharp

TharpSter is a husband to one woman, a father to two kids, a master to two dogs, an occasional cubical occupant, and unable to make up his mind on an adequate theme for this website.

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