Exploiting The Joo Joo Jam Boy

Ladies and gentlemen, a troubling issue has reared it’s ugly head.  I feel it’s only necessary to call attention to such a poignant matter before things get out of hand.

 

Before doing so, I need give you a few tidbits of information on background so that you can understand the gravity of the matter.

 

Item one – At some point in the late nineties, one of the junior members of the organization happily existed in a blissful state where her toddler-like lexicon afforded creative pronunciations of what we as adults complacently write off as pretty darn easy words to utter.

 

As such, there was no such thing as a “ginger bread boy”.  Instead, it was a “joo joo jam boy”.   To this day with so many years between the original utterance and now, various members of the organization have characterized the vernacular of my daughter to be a bit anti-semitic.

 

Item two – Cowboy boots are made from a wide variety of materials.  The problem (at least among the animal rights activists) is that the materials are derived from various varmints.  Most notably, the ones I can think of which tend to involuntarily give up their hides for those among us who wear such boots are cows, snakes, alligators, ostrich, and what I would guess to be a host of others.  I personally  am looking forward to the ones they will eventually make from tauntaun.  Sure they’ll smell bad on the outside……

 

The issue – I can certainly understand the need to find alternative means in which to fashion cowboy boots.  Perhaps there are plenty of barnyard animals, swamp, and forest residents which will be happy that their lives will not be cut short in order to become footwear.

 

Naturally, I’m all for the premise of not elevating the rights of animals above the humans.  When it comes to the time when animal rights have been elevated to a point where we have to participate in the needless slaughter of joo joo jam boys to make a pair of boots, the zombie apocalypse is just around the corner.

 

I’m sure those gingerbread zombies will taste delicious to boot.

 

 

 

Randy Tharp

TharpSter is a husband to one woman, a father to two kids, a master to two dogs, an occasional cubical occupant, and unable to make up his mind on an adequate theme for this website.

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