ORLANDO – Last night’s debate among the Republican presidential candidates was delayed briefly as a result of a protest staged by proponents in favor of federal benefit extensions for the perpetually unemployed who choose to stay that way.
As the candidates took the stage at the beginning of the debate, protesters who were stationed throughout the vast Orange County Convention Center yelled out “We want more benefits!” and then initiated the act of planking.
Planking is the process by which a participant lays face down in the most unique location possible. No additional activity is involved, short of posting a picture of the act on the internet.
In the case of last night, protesters took up positions on the floor and chairs throughout the hall. By doing so, they became dead weight which created a difficult task for authorities to remove them from the proceedings. Questions were additionally raised as to whether a candidate or two joined the protesters in solidarity by performing their own version of metaphorical planking from behind their respective podiums.
Planking is said to have found it’s roots in Australia, and has become popular in recent months. According to sources in the White House who spoke on the condition of anonymity, the President has been planking in the Oval Office for the better part of a year.