Protest Delays Debate

ORLANDO – Last night’s debate among the Republican presidential candidates was delayed briefly as a result of a protest staged by proponents in favor of federal benefit extensions for the perpetually unemployed who choose to stay that way.

Republican presidential candidates: Some new guy, No real chance, The Newt, The Isolationist, Dem turn Republican front runner, Genuine Doosh, Tea Party Darling who scares the media, The Guy to listen to, and the Planker before a debate at the Orange County Convention Center - Thursday, Sept. 22, 2011.

As the candidates took the stage at the beginning of the debate, protesters who were stationed throughout the vast Orange County Convention Center yelled out “We want more benefits!” and then initiated the act of planking.

Planking is the process by which a participant lays face down in the most unique location possible.  No additional activity is involved, short of posting a picture of the act on the internet.

In the case of last night, protesters took up positions on the floor and chairs throughout the hall.  By doing so, they became dead weight which created a difficult task for authorities to remove them from the proceedings.  Questions were additionally raised as to whether a candidate or two joined the protesters in solidarity by performing their own version of metaphorical planking from behind their respective podiums.

Planking is said to have found it’s roots in Australia, and has become popular in recent months.  According to sources in the White House who spoke on the condition of anonymity, the President has been planking in the Oval Office for the better part of a year.

Authorities eventually removed 17 protesters from the center, and are currently considering whether charges of criminal trespassing and resisting arrest will be filed.



Randy Tharp

TharpSter is a husband to one woman, a father to two kids, a master to two dogs, an occasional cubical occupant, and unable to make up his mind on an adequate theme for this website.

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