Texas To Name Official State Font

AUSTIN – In an effort to present a more friendly mentality about the state of Texas, a bill was presented before the state legislature this morning to change the font on all statewide signage.

If the bill should pass and subsequently be signed into law by Governor Rick Perry, all signs on state run buildings, streets and highways will need to be changed in order to reflect the Comic Sans MS (aka Comic Sans) font.  Amendments have already been proposed to update state published documents to reflect the font as well.

Along with the voter ID issue, Governor Perry has characterized the sign font issue as an emergency item. The bill is expected to be signed into law.

The bill promises to generate passionate debate on both sides of the issue.  There’s been a growing movement on the Internet to altogether ban the font.  Proponents for the ban feel the font is used too often in scenarios where it’s not called for.  “Signs which tell people not to touch something with wet paint, or not to enter a certain room do not convey their point forcefully enough when using such a casual font.” said Terence Welker, an English teacher and outspoken proponent of the font ban.  “Even worse is when my students turn in their research papers on some of the worlds greatest literary works in a font which doesn’t carry the gravitas of a font like Times New Roman.”

On the other side of the debate, supporters for the measure feel that naming an official state font will help to  improve the image of Texas around the nation and the world.  “Right now, we look pretty bad to everyone,” said bill supporter Matilda Bloomenthal.  “We execute so many  death row inmates every year.  More Texans own and use their guns.  We have Jerry Jones and his ego along with that loudmouth girl in the Dixie Chicks.  Something has got to be done to prove that we all aren’t a big pack of assholes.”

The font was originally introduced by Microsoft just prior to the introduction of Windows 95.  If Texas should go as so far as to name Comic San as it’s official font, it could encounter potential conflicts with the End User License Agreement which comes standard with all Microsoft products.  Microsoft founder and CEO Bill Gates was unavailable for comment.

Texas, Comic Sans style

Randy Tharp

TharpSter is a husband to one woman, a father to two kids, a master to two dogs, an occasional cubical occupant, and unable to make up his mind on an adequate theme for this website.

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