2011 ReHash – January

Outside of the switchover in the U.S. House of Representatives and the Arizona shooting which returned civil discourse to the American political stage (not), three events which pitched in their respective two cents to shape our lives came by way of a crushing blow to an American tragedy, the potential rise of an American Idol, and the return of an American great.

Last year, in their rush to pass Obamacare into law, Congress failed to put a severability clause into the legislation which couldn’t reveal its contents until it got passed.  That’s what then House Speaker Nancy Pelosi said when she was questioned whether she or any of her minions had read the bill.  At the end of January, U.S. District Court Judge Roger Vinson found the individual mandate to be unconstitutional. 

For those of you who may not be familiar with the individual mandate, consider this device to be as crucial to Obamacare as the Force and merchandising was to Star Wars. 

Typically when legislation makes its way out of Congress and gets signed into law, it contains language which protects its butt from a big picture point of view.  In the event there is language in various sections of the bill which are deemed by the Judiciary as unconstitutional, that one piece is severed from the entire legislation so the law doesn’t have to be scrapped.

Since the last Congress failed to put such language into Obamacare, the ruling of the individual mandate makes the entire law unconstitutional.  Thank you, Judge Vinson, for reading the Constitution.

More to come on that one.  Right now, I can only quote the President on this one.  “Bring it on.”

As American Idol returned to the boob tube this year, an instant heart warmer revealed itself in the form of one standard sized Chris Medina.  Good ole Chris made a commitment to the woman he loves, boys and girls.  Even more important was that Chris opted to keep that commitment after his fiancé suffered a life changing brain injury.  Fortunately he can sing, so he’s earned himself a trip to Hollywood and a position in the next round.  Whether he has the pipes to go the distance is unknown at this time.  Consider what the news and talk shows will be like on the day after if/when the Simon-wannabes or America sends him home packing.

Even more impressive than the previous two events is the return of one of America’s greatest to the center stage.  Years old rumors surrounding late baseball great Ted Williams were put to rest in January when it was revealed that The Thumper had in fact undergone the process of cryogenic freezing shortly after his passing in 2002.  Even more surprising was that steps had already been taken to reanimate Williams, and they were successful. 

The concept of cryogenic freezing involves freezing the corpse of one who is recently departed with the goal of reviving the individual sometime in the future when a cure for whatever ailed them has been developed. 

It’s not known exactly when Williams was revived, however nine years after his death the Boston Red Sox slugger appears to be fine. 

Don’t expect that you’ll recognize him upon meeting him though.  Nowadays, Williams is an alcoholic homeless black man with a history of substance abuse.  In early January, Williams was seen panhandling on street corners while quoting radio station tag lines for cash.  After being discovered on a viral video, Williams has been offered several jobs, reunited with his estranged family, and shipped off to rehab.  That was all in one week by the way.

Randy Tharp

TharpSter is a husband to one woman, a father to two kids, a master to two dogs, an occasional cubical occupant, and unable to make up his mind on an adequate theme for this website.

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