Dear Crashers

I think Tommy Shaw said it best.  “The jig is up.”

That’s right.  I’m talking to you Jason Levin, creator of  Just how clever do you think you are by telegraphing your plan to infiltrate Tea Party events tomorrow?  Did you drink all of the bong water when you came up with that idea?  Do you think you’re the Crasher Squirrel?  There was some Kook Aid mixed into that bong water, wasn’t there?

Here’s the deal, Jason.  There are plenty of people out there like you who have spent the last year or so trying to discredit the Tea Party.  Be it elected officials or bright, shining rays of sunshine like you, they’ve referred to the party’s members as tea baggers, racists, homophobic, and a host of other less than flattering assignments.  Has the Tea Party effectively been discredited as a result?  It’s nice to know you people are still sticking to the crusty pages of the same old playbook.

Be honest now, Jason.  Exactly what is your hard, solid evidence that members of the Tea Party are the bigoted morons that you would love for them to be?  I would suggest you don’t have any, and deep down you don’t really believe the claim.  If you really had the evidence, or believed the mantra of your like-minded brethren, then why do you feel it to be necessary to infiltrate the party?  Why do you want to dispatch your agents of idiocy to the tomorrow’s events to make them look bad?  Don’t you think that if they really were racist, homophobic morons, that you could just sit at home watching them self immolate on CNN or MSNBC?  You obviously don’t.

I’ll give you a few moments to go look up some of those big words I just used.

It’s as simple as this Jason.  I’m not going to even bother to enlighten you with at least a thousand words of verbal brilliance to explain the spirit of the Tea Party to you.  The primary reason is because I don’t feel like wasting such magnificence on you.  Second to that, something tells me that the mushy goo residing between your ears doesn’t have the capacity to process and understand it.

Instead, I’m going to just give you a rundown of what will happen tomorrow.

First of all, you’ve told the world you’re going to do it, and you’ve announced your motive and your devices.  That means that anything that happens tomorrow is going to be blamed on you.

Sucks to be you, doesn’t it?

But wait.  Here’s where it gets better.

Let’s say you and your buddies lose the testicular fortitude to go out and do your thing.  At the same time, maybe on the rarest of chances, there’s a bonehead in the Tea Party who is a racist, homophobic moron.  Just for shiggles, let’s say that said moron pulls a stunt similar to the ones you’ve advertised to the world.  Guess who gets blamed for it?

Sucks to be you, doesn’t it?

Good luck tomorrow, Jason.  Frankly, I don’t think the strongest of Teflon underwear is going to keep the stink off of you by the time the day is done.

Randy Tharp

TharpSter is a husband to one woman, a father to two kids, a master to two dogs, an occasional cubical occupant, and unable to make up his mind on an adequate theme for this website.

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