A Word About The CFO

The KitchenAid Artisan 5 Quart Mixer which falls under model number KSM10PSMC so far appears to be a nifty little toy.  It comes equipped with the capability to receive a variety of attachments which are designed to twaddle your turnips, batter dip your soon to be fried lard balls, tie a fly or two, and a plethora of other kitchen and non-kitchen activities which you normally wouldn’t expect the good people at KitchenAid to dream up as a use for their product.  Just as a side note, this gem has the capability of removing those unsightly nose hairs if you can turn your head at the right angle within the 5 quart mixing bowl.

Whereas there may be many more out there, I can think of a few colors which serve to accent such a useful device.  Just last evening, the kitchen staff here at TharpSter.Org acquired a metallic one.  If you look real closely, you’ll see that I was wearing a red t-shirt when I took the picture.  I mention the fact that I was clothed when I took the picture, as I wanted to remove all shadows of doubt that I’m not subject to the pitfalls of taking pictures of items with reflective surfaces.

In a matter of days, my beloved wife of nearly 17- something years will turn 20 – something, yet again.  As the CFO (Chief Family Officer) of the organization, Wifey has powers around here not unlike those that others in her same position hold and exercise on a daily basis.  When the kids ask me for something that they know full well that their mother wouldn’t approve of, what do you think I tell them?

“Go ask your Mom.”

Naturally, it’s a foregone conclusion around here that I don’t want to be anywhere near a decision that’s being made.  I’ll let Wifey worry about that instead.  Perhaps, if the kids spent more time reading the brilliant and timely insight provided here on the website on a regular basis, it’s very well possible I wouldn’t throw that roadblock at them whenever they want something.

They may think they’re getting away with not visiting my site, however they have a little surprise coming to them.  I’m currently in the process of drawing up instructions for the activities to take place at my funeral if/when I die.  Naturally, one would expect that I will provide instruction for my children to get up there at the podium to discuss my love of guacamole, my hatred of daylight savings time, and my insistence that all fried finger foods (and some vegetables) should have an accompanying dip.

Instead, the kids will be required to read selected pieces from this site to members of the audience which remember to show up.  When’s the last time you learned about the benefits of Lotus Notes Sametime at a funeral?  Have you ever been to a wake, only to acquire poignant knowledge about how the Dinka of the Sudan get their cattle to lactate?  Save the date, ladies and gentlemen.

Wow.  It’s amazing how much tangential drift takes place around here.

Wifey has been talking about a KitchenAid mixer for quite a long time.  We figured that since her birthday was coming up, I would forego the customary and annual presentation of new fishing tackle this year and give her something she actually wants.  Her words, not mine.

Many years ago, I bought her a mixer under a different brand name.  Over the years, she’s made some wonderful things with it.  In fact, the very first item she made with it was Malt-O-Meal muffins.  Of course, that event was long before we obtained the TharpSter TreadMill and the TharpSter Pit Bull, so said muffins weren’t pilfered before us humans could partake.

In the last few years, she’s become more ambitious with the ingredients she throws in that mixing bowl.  Just last month, she made an age appropriate cake for a member of the organization from the chinchilla ranch division.  Needless to say, the cake for the 40 year old birthday boy went over quite well.  Granted, one of the eyes had glaucoma, and the other one showed signs of astigmatism.

The acquisition of the KitchenAid Artisan 5 Quart Mixer (model KSM10PSMC) now opens up a whole new dynamic in the kitchen here at TharpSter.Org.  Previously untwaddled turnips will be twaddled.  Lard balls will be batter dipped with perfect symmetry, and those pesky nose hairs will be taken care of in a more expeditious manner.  Cakes of the future will have even a more ambitious streak to them.  Best of all is that Wifey has now been given what she has wanted for years.  One can only expect that she no longer has anything to ask for.

Let’s keep our fingers crossed.

Randy Tharp

TharpSter is a husband to one woman, a father to two kids, a master to two dogs, an occasional cubical occupant, and unable to make up his mind on an adequate theme for this website.

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