A Palatable Remote

Contrary to popular belief, the worldwide headquarters of TharpSter.Org is not situated on a sprawling, multi-acre resort.  Its constructed structures do not reach high into the sky, and it’s not normally searched out on Google Earth as much as one would believe.


Instead, the origin of the colorful wordsmithing and other verbal brilliance which ensconces the regular and occasional visitor to this site resides in the preformed cubby of a computer armoire purchased at one of those office superstores about ten years ago.

Remote caddyWe’ve got couches, too.  They’re arranged in an “L” shaped pattern in the middle of the living room, where they both face the TV.  Between those couches, we have an end table which houses the remote caddy.    This little gem was a Christmas gift I received several years ago, and I’ve made very good use of it.  Of the 6 or 7 remotes I have in there at any given time, I only use 2 of them.  There are 2 different VCR remotes in there, even though I no longer have a VCR hooked up to my entertainment system.  There’s a remote which came with the TV, however it doesn’t work correctly.  As a result, it’s been replaced with a universal remote instead.  Regardless of whether I am using the remotes in this caddy or not, I never have to wonder about where they are.  The practice of rifling through couch cushions looking for the remote control is an unknown practice here at TharpSter.Org.

Speaking of entertainment systems, let’s talk about mine.  Granted, I have nothing to write home about; however one of the features about that system which turns my brains to mushy goo is my cable provider.  Unlike a lot of my San Antonio neighbors, I have AT&T U-Verse.  Under my current plan, I have hundreds of channels which I don’t watch at all.  Sadly, the plan in which I subscribe to doesn’t have a cafeteria / buffet option where I can choose the specific channels I want without being compelled to take on the ones I don’t.  It’s no big deal though.  I just block the ones I don’t watch and they automatically get skipped when my properly opposed thumb is jamming the channel up button in an effort to find something to watch.

Naturally, my U-Verse package includes a remote control.  It’s a universal bad boy which can control just about anything in my house.  It lights up when you hit certain buttons, and it’s silver.

I’ll give you a moment to look at the picture above in order to identify the AT&T U-Verse remote.

Did you find it?  No?

That’s kind of strange.  I’ve already established earlier in this little soliloquy that all of the remotes are stored in one place, regardless of whether I use them or not.

I guess that’s neither here nor there.

I should mention at this point that I found out an interesting fact today.  Did you know that pit bulls have a bite strength of 235 lbs PSI (pounds per square inch)?  This is actually a smaller number than I had heard before; however I found it on the internet, so it must be true.

Uverse remoteOh, by the way.  There’s one more thing about the AT&T U-Verse remote which strangely seems to be missing from my remote caddy.  I have it on pretty good authority that 235 lbs PSI is more than sufficient enough pressure to breech the integrity of this particular type of remote control, and render it nothing more than a paper weight.  Even more, I also possess a good deal of evidence which suggests that given a choice of color, pit bulls will opt for silver more often than black.

Randy Tharp

TharpSter is a husband to one woman, a father to two kids, a master to two dogs, an occasional cubical occupant, and unable to make up his mind on an adequate theme for this website.

4 thoughts on “A Palatable Remote

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  2. I’m reluctant that the Pit bull requirements a specific sort of operator…these dogs, no matter how ‘tender’ nevertheless have teeth, are still creatures without moral principles and if they DO bite, won’t let go. As in all animals…some often be much more suseptable to instinctual habits and time and time once again, this breed tends to try and do just that.

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