Borg Plot Uncovered

WASHINGTON, D.C. – According to declassified documents released late Friday afternoon by the Extra Terrestrial Contact Unit (ETCU) of the National Security Agency, humanoid cybernetic beings known as the Borg have been on Earth and even here in America for nearly 50 years.  Even more surprising is that the ETCU has been aware of the potentially dangerous presence for a better part of 20 years.

The recent revelation of the Borg’s presence here for the last 50 years raises further questions.  The Borg is known for their swift efficiency in assimilating entire planets in the matter of weeks, if not days.  Such an extended stay on Earth without following their standard paradigm of assimilation is inconsistent with their known behavior.  It was that premise in which the ETCU based a heavily funded, long term investigation to determine the Borg’s motivation for being here so long without taking over.   Years of research have revealed that the Borg is testing a new method of conquest designed to gradually make the assimilation process seamless to the victim.  In doing so over the long term, victims of the Borg are rarely aware of what is happening until the point in which they have become a drone.  By then, it is too late to fight, and resistance becomes futile.

The Milky Way galaxy divided into quadrants.

The Borg is comprised of individuals from a variety of humanoid species from all over the Delta quadrant of the Milky Way galaxy.  These individuals are actually victims of a collective mind, and have been altered both mentally and physically into cybernetic drones.  The process of assimilating the victim involves cybernetic implants and robotic limbs.  Once assimilated into the collective, victims are stripped of their individuality and are subsequently forced to work under the will of the hive.

Borg drones
Borg drones

According to the ETCU, the Borg plot was designed to put individuals with specific characteristics into power.  Charisma is one of the most powerful traits the selected individuals can have, however it should not be the only one.  The  individual must also possess the ability to motivate large groups of people to step outside of their normal behavior and do things they would otherwise not do.  In addition, the Borg strategically identifies personality types which are  predisposed to freely give up individualism in the name of the greater good, without applying critical thought to the potential impacts to the initiative at hand.  Among those motivated by the charismatic leaders, and those who don’t think an entire situation all the way through, the Borg targets those who would  be the easiest to assimilate into the collective.  The ETCU conservatively estimates that the Borg have identified just over 69 million candidates in the U.S. in the last year alone.

Jeri (Zimmermann) Ryan
Jeri (Zimmermann) Ryan

The Borg plot was identified in the U.S. in 1991 when it was discovered that a Borg female known here on Earth as Jeri Zimmermann (pictured) had married an investment banker name Jack Ryan from Illinois.   The marriage ended in 1999; however the Borg’s plans involving the drone agent would not be put into motion for another 5 years.  By 2004, Ryan had launched a campaign to replace retiring Senator Peter Fitzgerald in the U.S. Senate for the state of Illinois.  After winning the Republican primary, Ryan was poised to face Democratic nominee Barack Obama in a head to head race for the open Senate seat.

Once the party nominees were identified, the question came up in the spring of 2004 about the Ryan’s divorce records.  The content of the divorce records described accusations on Mrs. Ryan’s part of sexually deviant behavior, primarily in Mr. Ryan’s desire to have sexual relations with his wife and others in public settings. The reason why Ryan ever allowed the records to be unsealed is not known.   Once released, the records proved to be detrimental to the Ryan campaign.  By the end of June that year, Ryan had dropped out of the race for the Senate.  Democratic nominee Barack Obama would win the election that following November against Ryan’s replacement, Alan Keyes.

It is the theory of the ETCU that the Borg sabotaged the Ryan campaign with the accusations in the divorce records so as to aid Barack Obama into his senatorial seat, and the Presidency four years later.  The Borg identified Obama early on his legislative career as having the charisma and ability to create a population of candidates for assimilation.  The White House was not available for comment on the idea that Obama’s 2008 election to the presidency was aided by a collective hive whose only goal is universal conquest.

Randy Tharp

TharpSter is a husband to one woman, a father to two kids, a master to two dogs, an occasional cubical occupant, and unable to make up his mind on an adequate theme for this website.

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