Birthers. A Path To Success.

In two previous blogs I addressed a certain group of people, who for lack of a more edgy moniker, have in the matter of months added the word ‘birther’ to the American vernacular.  Honestly speaking, I haven’t been very nice to those dedicated to the mindset that our president may not really qualify to hold the job of POTUS by the nature of his birth alone.  I personally believe his agenda of big government and social engineering disqualifies him, but that’s my own opinion.


In ‘Birthers’ Gain Ground on Question of Citizenship, I crafted a phony news story reporting that the White House would release all details of the president’s birth place.  For those concerned about the matter, I provided a link at the end of the story which presumably would lead to more details.  In reality, the link takes the reader to a YouTube video of a rickroll starring Beeker the Muppet.

Go ahead.  You can tell me.  You clicked on the link in that story, didn’t you?

In Dear Birthers.  Get Over it., I laid out the reasons why pursuing a technicality as a defense against the Obama agenda is not really the best use of time and resources.

So now that I’ve made a mockery of the firmly held beliefs of others, I think it should only be necessary that I should offer some assistance on the matter.  Pay attention, Birthers.  Take notes if you must.  I’m going to give you the groundwork to help your cause to bear fruit.

  1. First of all, spend more time hammering the Obama agenda and less time sending chain emails with pictures of his Kenyan birth certificate.  There are going to be plenty of drive-by Birthers out there who can continue to beat the drum about where the Bamster was born.  On the other hand, the agenda provides a wellspring of material for those who follow the political scene on a daily basis.  If you don’t believe me, go read what’s being said about it in the blogosphere.  Just read mine first, and don’t stop until you find yourself in giddy anticipation for the next entry I publish.
  2. Next, you need to strengthen the grass roots effort to send Obama’s minions in Congress back to the private sector where they can start their crackpot think tanks, political action committees, and lobbying firms.  Load up the ballot for the upcoming mid-term elections with a gaggle of public servants who will not use legislation to assault the freedoms our founding fathers envisioned for this great country of ours.
  3. Unless the state of Hawaii coughs up the actual record of Obama’s birth, fight any and every piece of legislation or resolution proposed in Congress which validates his citizenship as being naturally born.
  4. Win control of Congress in the 2010 mid-term elections.  You’re going to have to win big and then some, because you’ll need it for numbers 5 and 6.
  5. Introduce and pass legislation which requires all candidates for the Presidency to provide proof of his/her legal right to run for the office, beginning with the 2012 election.  One would think this is already a requirement of any candidate filing papers with the Federal Election Commission, however I’ve yet to find requirements for proof of where one was born.
  6. If you gain control of Congress, and if you manage to pass such legislation, you can count on a presidential veto.  Be prepared to override it.
  7. Keep paying attention, as you aren’t done yet.  Nominate a viable candidate in 2012.  Don’t nominate someone who feels it’s his or her party’s job to sit on the fence that divides the political spectrum.  Get someone who is going to drastically reduce the size of government and preserve our personal freedoms to do whatever we want without the threat of confiscatory taxation looming over our shoulders.

At this point, you’ve taken several good steps to get the country back on track and heading in the right direction.  In the process, you have forced the target of your crusade to finally tip his hands and pony up the proof that he was actually born in Hawaii.  If he is to be a legally qualified candidate for the 2012 race, then the American people will have to see the goods.

The problem with this philosophy is that the same thing could happen to TOTUS and it’s symbiont in 2012 that happened to Bill Clinton in 1994.  A shift of power in Congress saved his presidency by forcing him to moderate his agenda, and gave him the ability to take credit for a bustling economy.  November 06, 2012 could very well serve up a re-election for Obama.

The only saving grace at that point is the hope that the Mayans and their calendar (mine has anamorphized chimps on it) were right.  If so, the world will end on December 21, 2012, just about a month before the Creepy Cult of Personality can begin a second term.

So there you go, Birthers.  Do you think you can do it?

Randy Tharp

TharpSter is a husband to one woman, a father to two kids, a master to two dogs, an occasional cubical occupant, and unable to make up his mind on an adequate theme for this website.

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